fantasy – comedy

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Summary: A young half-elf hermit with forgotten magic. An army officer with ambitions as grand as his moustache. Decades after it began, war still rages between humans and elves. For some, war is a proving ground, a chance to win glory and prestige. For others, they must avoid the horrors of war at all costs. The Elixir of Power could make guns and cannons—and elves—a thing of the past. All Slee wants is to remain hidden from the world, but the fighting is never far. With the mass-produced gears of war devouring the land, how could a reclusive half-elf like her ever hope to find peace? All Fentor wants is … everything. To make a name for himself. To be remembered. To win. With the Elixir of Power in his hands, victory is at last within reach. When these two meet, their worlds begin to change—in the most unexpected of ways.

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Summary: Doc thought treating grumpy house cats was challenging — until her latest patients torched everything she thought she knew. When Dr. Jordyn Blackstone stumbles upon an injured dragon, she can’t resist helping the creature. Before long, dragons from far and wide seek her expertise, and they’re not exactly the kind to sit still for shots. With dragons suddenly very real and no dragon-care textbook in sight, Doc can’t help but question her sanity while she develops dragon medicine on the fly. Amidst dodging horrid dragon breath and fiery sneezes, Doc discovers that the dragons trust her with not only their own lives, but the survival of their entire species. No pressure. Doc rises to the challenge, even though the work is tough, messy, and dangerous. But dealing with disgusting dragon snot is the least of her worries. To protect her extraordinary patients from being hunted to extinction, Doc must keep them secret — or risk not only their safety, but also her career, reputation, and clinic going up in smoke.

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Summary: “Ye never ken what beasties lurk in the water…” The white and red dragons have been spiritual soulmates for as long as anyone can remember. Finally, their human vessels Stewart and Michael are together once more—except one of them has a hard time remembering or believing that he’s a dragon. As his mysterious family’s past starts revealing itself, Stewart Rygby has been made aware of his responsibility to manage and protect vast estate holdings that are in his care—which includes the local fairy village. There is also the impending problem of a lake resort planned to be built dangerously close to the dragons’ ancient lair. While Father Aron has the power to prevent this egregious trespass, it may take some angelic intervention to convince him to accept such a crusade on faith. Join us as our dragons come together for another lifetime in Green Hills and Dragon Tales—the momentous second book in the Green Hills Series by Celyn Kendrick!

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Summary: Clarity (noun) Four definitions to inspire writers around the world and an unlimited number of possible stories to tell: 1) Coherent and intelligible 2) Transparent or pure 3) Attaining certainty about something 4) Easy to see or hear Clarity features 300-word speculative flash fiction stories from across the rainbow spectrum, from the minds of the writers of Queer Sci Fi.

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Summary: A collection of the "Brassbright Kids" stories PLUS a brand-new novelette! The Steamkettle Kids Save the Day - Can Paisley Pockets and Christopher Cogan stop a crime in progress? They may be just a couple of kids, but where there’s a will and some smarts, there just might be a way. The Legend of The Engineer - In a country called Industralia, children listen to a New Year's story about Frostica, the Engineer, and a magical train. A Life Invented - Gerard Liddle tinkers with his very first inventions - which sometimes work, and sometimes do unexpected things. The Steamkettle Kids and the Lucky Tentacles - After a hurricane shakes up Steamkettle Bay, Paisley Pockets, Christopher Cogan and Jimmy Cupper have an adventure as big as the sea. ~ NEW ~ The Secret of Tarragon Alley - Robin dreams of having a garden filled with flowers, just like Gramma did. When he brings home a little clay pot filled with gnarly, weird plants, he has no idea that it will take him on an amazing adventure.

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Summary: “Will I always be so alone, living as a dragon among the sheep?” Jane Dawson is an American on a journey of midlife makeover. Abandoning a tech career in Boston, she and her sheepdog, Moss, move to Wales in search of a simpler life, connection and community without the filter of the Internet. But who knew she would stumble over the red Welsh dragon, y Ddraig Goch? Actually, she stumbles over her own suitcase and falls on her face in the middle of Main Street. But her plea for help (or maybe it was just swearing) is answered by the shy local dragon who doesn’t know he’s a dragon—Stewart Rygby. But what rational, sane person believes in dragons and fairies? Why have such myths and legends persisted in the misty green hills of Wales over the aeons? And why does Moss need to mark everything in sight—including her new landlord? Join us as our dragons awaken from their slumber in Green Hills and Daffodils—the exciting first book in the Green Hills Series by Celyn Kendrick!

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Summary: The road home has a few bumps in it. Leanna makes her way out of exile to take back her throne. She has the plan and the determination to fight. But when Jonathan is imprisoned in a foreign city, getting back to Kingsfield may prove more difficult than she thought. With no money and no army, Leanna may be in over her head. The life of everyone she cares about is on the line, and she must call in every favor and ally to take her city back. Can she succeed before anyone figures out the magical secrets of her manor? Will she be condemned to live life in a frozen wilderness?

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Summary: The sugar leapt up and twisted itself until it formed a castle with turrets as perky as meerkats... Griffin's rock band is about to have their big break. But when her lead guitarist and soon- to-be-ex-boyfriend throws a drug- and alcohol-induced El Screamo Thrasher Solo Temper Tantrum, he gets the band kicked out of the gig. She is devastated, and minus a lead guitarist. Enter the mysterious Rickenbacker, a restaurant manager with a tempting offer: if Griffin works in his restaurant making desserts, she can play in the house band, the Spurious Correlations, alongside Matteo: a super-talented lead guitarist. What Griffin doesn't know is Rickenbacker is a competitor in an Other Worldly Live Action Role Playing tournament (LARPing). In order to win the championship, he has just two weeks to push her to the limit with dessert-making mayhem, enough to drive her to perform an unthinkable task, all without letting her suspect she's a pawn in his scheme. Griffin is yanked unwittingly into a frenzied fantastical world of music, magic and baking. She gets to make music with Matteo, the most perfect guy she has ever met, and she has never played with such a terrific band. It seems too good to be true! But making desserts for Rickenbacker is a nightmare. Is Matteo worth it? Well, he is awfully dreamy . . .

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Summary: Ruling a city isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Leanna has been governing the great city of Kingsfield for less than a year, and it’s already making her crazy. Audience Day is full of insane people making wishes, there’s a goblin infestation in town, and a ghost on the loose in the slums. But when a new group against Leanna starts recruiting conspirators in the shadows, Leanna must decide if ruling is what she really wants. Caught between that and her estranged family demanding audience, Leanna needs to put all the pieces together. Will she separate her allies from her enemies before it’s too late?

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Summary: The mind of a befuddled muse... is full of odd nooks and crannies. This quirky, thoughtful, engrossing collection of short fiction contains twelve short stories and a novella across sci-fi and related genres including Time Travel, Alternate History, Hauntings, Circus Noir, Historical Fiction, Interspecies Communication, emails with the dead, and more... The Stories include: Curved Space: The crew of a sleeper ship awakes to find themselves lightyears from earth and in danger of starvation. They are shocked when a pizza deliveryman knocks at their airlock. The Daemon Muse A man tries to ignore his muse and finds out she is not a jealous lover, but she demands his creativity to express her inspirations. Times of Life and Death A field historian specializing in Tudor England becomes entranced by Lady Jane, England's nine-days queen. He convinces her to forgo her execution and come with him back to 2085 where, he says, she will be safe. Heart's Desire The newly elected president of the United States finds out that even when the devil loses his bet, he wins. A Sticky End A freak accident leaves an astronaut dying and stuck in the airlock with his robot. As he prepares for his end, he desperately tries to find humanity in his one remaining friend. The Singer of Starfish A young dolphin is convinced that she is the long-prophesied "Singer of Starfish" who can finally communicate with the strange animals keeping her and her pod captive. The Offering A sculptor weeps as he carves a memorial for his painter friend who had completely failed to understand the brutality of the French Occupation of Algeria. Both is French family and his secret Algerian family would pay the price of his naiveté. The Big Gumshoes A Clown PI must solve the murder of his friend and mentor in both his careers. Along the way, he breaks up a corrupt side-show, finds love, and returns a kidnapped dog to its owner. A Day in the Life of the Great Space Explorer A nursing home finds a unique way to entertain its staff and residents by celebrating the writing of their resident Sci-Fi author who can only remember the day he is living at the moment. Something That Will Not Let Go A woman returns to her childhood home to hide from the law. Once there, she finds out her imaginary friend, who helped her live through the abuse from her father, is not so imaginary after all. Together, they avenge the pain they suffered as children. Pea Soup A mild-mannered, puzzle-loving court reporter is duped by the beautiful, but corrupt prosecutor. The Severed World The Field Historian and Lady Jane from Times of Life and Death find out her decision to travel back to his time has dramatically changed history and that his promise that she would be safe in 2085 could not have been more wrong. A Thread Across The Veil An internet scammer discovers that he can converse by email with his recently deceased lover and that she wants to reform him from his evil ways.

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Summary: INK (NOUN) Five definitions to inspire writers around the world and an unlimited number of possible stories to tell: 1) A colored fluid used for writing 2) The action of signing a deal 3) A black liquid ejected by squid 4) Publicity in the written media 5) A slang word for tattoos Ink features 300-word speculative flash fiction stories from across the rainbow spectrum, from the minds of the writers of Queer Sci Fi.

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Summary: Rules were made to be broken. From terraformed outposts to magical realms, journey to worlds where deadly plants, rampant biodiversity, or failed colonies have created irresistible opportunities for those brave enough to seize them. New worlds, found family, mystical secrets, and deadly science weave together in this lesbian-centric anthology focusing on a very different kind of first time—a first encounter with a world, or being, entirely unlike our own. If you like diverse stories with lesbian heroines practicing science, magic, and seduction, buy Distant Gardens today!

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Summary: Manifesto The Great rules Planet Hy Man, a Planet where meat is as toxic as nuclear waste. Faced with an uprising, Manifesto The Great turns to the only person he can trust----his mother; but she has days to live. With an army of malfunctioning Mae West robots and a committee as innovative as a sock puppet, Manifesto The Great loses control. And as his city falls under the hands of Fanny and her rebels, the grieving leader retreats to his cocktail bar. High on a cocktail of hormonal meat and hemp cocktails, Manifesto The Great returns to his committee for advice. But they have other plans, mainly to bat with the winning team, and from the looks of Manifesto The Great, he ain’t one of ‘em. Will he rise to command again or has he buried his balls along with his mother in a sea of cocktails and mad ramblings?

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Summary: Qwyrk is having a bad day; several, in fact. One of the Shadow folk tasked with keeping an eye on humanity, she’s ready for a well-earned break in Yorkshire, but now she’s (literally) run into a girl, Jilly, who just saw something quite supernatural and truly awful happen in her town. As Qwyrk tries to unravel the mystery, layers of villainy are exposed, and she’s stuck with an assortment of unlikely folk that she’d rather not have “helping” her. Together, they confront ancient magic, medieval conspiracies, and the possible end of the world (that again?). It’s not the holiday Qwyrk was hoping for! Qwyrk is the first in a series of four novels about the adventures of a group of misfits at the edge of reality in modern northern England, a world of shadows, Nighttime Nasties, sorcery, intergalactic councils, tacky nightclub attire, an abundance of sarcasm, and even elves… though they are a bit silly.

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Summary: The truth can be sharp and pointy. Priestess Trixi is ready to reveal her god’s truth to the world, whether they like it or not. As she prepares to see her vision made real, only one thing stands in her way. A halfling that won’t die summons an ancient weapon, determined to kill the priestess. Friends betray them. Their pasts are hunting them. Hillbillies are trying to date them. But when Leanna and Trixi need each other the most, can they come together and see the great pilgrimage through to the Magic City?

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Summary: Manifesto the Great comes from a dynasty of leaders who treat women like breeding machines. When his father dies, he must take over as leader, but will he be able to keep control of the women? Planet Hy Man is a planet as pure as a baby’s belly button until a spaceship arrives; a spaceship full of men and women who have spent a lifetime of celibacy. Sex, like roast chicken and football being off the menu until a planet was found.  They hurl themselves into a frenzy of real meat, real air, and sex until a leader emerges to create order, civilization and a sewage system. Manifesto the Great watches as his forefathers pollute the planet, treat women as walking wombs, and make dodgie robots until it is his turn.  Will he rise over the tidal wave of discontented women, or will he drown under a sea of underwire and oestrogen? The Rise Of Manifesto The Great is the first of three prequels to the Planet Hy Man science-fiction comedy series. If you like high-mileage heroines, fast-paced satire, and meticulously crafted universes, then you’ll love Kerrie Noor’s otherworldly farce. 

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Summary: The bar for heroes just got lower. Leanna Moonbody dreams of playing a concert in the Saul Amphitheater. Trixi has a vision from her god to take thousands on a pilgrimage. When a chance encounter puts them together, they realize how much they need each other. With a lovesick noble and a deranged halfling that won't die on their tails, they'll need help. Employing a motley crew of rejects, they take off running to realize their dreams. But when they're forced to stand and fight, can they be heroes?

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Summary: Staging a musical in Purgatory can be absolute hell. Lonnie Coleridge last saw the sun in 1968. Since then, he’s been consigned to Limbo, still wearing the same tie-dyed T-shirt and bell-bottomed jeans he had on when he left his life behind. He and others like him have one chance each year at redemption: produce a show for the Greek pantheon. Whoever pleases this very specific—and temperamental—fan group could earn the right to move on. But after a literal act of god (*cough* Hermes *cough*) destroys their sets, lights, and costumes, the company needs emergency help to rebuild. Without it, all of them could poof out of existence forever. Out-of-work theater technician TD Baylor has precisely three things on his cosmic wish list: a job, a place to stay, and a boyfriend who isn’t a total tool. He thinks he’s got the first two nailed when he gets a line on a two-week gig that includes room and board. So what if the job tip came from a guy who was leaning way too hard into the LOTR cosplay at a sketchy Halloween pop-up? At this point, TD doesn’t have anything more to lose, so he figures…what the hell. He didn’t realize hell was the operative word. When Lonnie greets him at the theater door, though...whoa. TD fantasizes that item number three could be within his reach. But then Lonnie gives him the bad news: This is Purgatory Playhouse, aka Theater of the Darned. In two weeks—if they’re lucky and can successfully mount a musical version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream—the company will return to Limbo after the curtain falls. If they’re not lucky? Remember that part about hell? Purgatory Playhouse is part of the multi-author Magic Emporium Series. Each book stands alone, but each one features an appearance by Marden’s Magic Emporium, a shop that can appear anywhere, but only once and only when someone’s in dire need. This book contains a theater techie who’s one couch surf away from homeless, a production assistant who’s sort of, um, not alive, Greek gods behaving very badly indeed, and a guaranteed HEA.

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Summary: An outcast necromancer and a half-demon clerk need to save the world from seashell zombies. No pressure. Everyone's always told Aspic that trouble can't help following him because of his heritage. Determined to put the lie to half-demon stereotypes, he's finally landed a good, quiet job as an herbalist's clerk where the owner trusts him to man the shop alone. What could go wrong selling coriander and thyme? When Geoffrey first enters the shop, Aspic finds the little man's eccentric appearance startling, then intriguing. Geoffrey explains, in stops and starts, that he is a theoretical necromancer researching replacements for blood magic. His current line of inquiry involves seashells—do they have any in stock? Aspic's co-workers warn him that Geoffrey is a walking disaster, but he finds himself more and more drawn to a necromancer concerned with ethical death magic. Aspic is with Geoffrey in his lab when he has his first success, but the results aren't at all what he was aiming for. Instead of raising the dead rabbit on his table, the ritual animates the seashell and rock spell components, which flee the lab and cause havoc. They soon discover that the spell-animated objects are "zombies" in that they can "infect" other inanimate things. An unorthodox necromancer and an exasperated shop clerk are going to need some unconventional help to find a working de-animation spell before the world is overrun by zombie seashells and stones gone mad.   Geoffrey the Very Strange is part of the Magic Emporium series. Each book stands alone, but each one features an appearance by Marden’s Magic Emporium, a shop that can appear anywhere, but only once and only when someone’s in dire need. This book contains theoretical necromancy, unexpected spell outcomes, some extraordinarily angry seashells, and a guaranteed HEA.

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Summary: To escape an arranged marriage, the king needs a fake fiancé. Stat. King Bastien’s father locked him into an ironclad betrothal contract with Lady Helena Rey when the two of them were only seven years old. Bas and Helena have never been friends—and not only because she marked their first meeting by dropping a frog down his shirt. He’s been unsuccessfully petitioning Parliament to annul the damn contract ever since he took the throne nine years ago. But with the deadline for officially confirming the engagement rapidly approaching, Bas is getting desperate. Enter commoner Nico Pereira, manager of the Royal Crest Vineyards, who nurses a secret crush on the king. He’s at the New Palace to unveil a  wine that’s the first joint venture between North and South Abarra. No problem, right? Except Nico has a secret: He has a superpower. Not a very strong superpower, but because powers are a privilege reserved for Royals, it still puts him at risk for arrest and prosecution. Nico can usually mask his limited foresight gift under the guise of being an incredibly efficient administrator. But when King Bastien asks him to be his fake fiancé? Well. Nico never saw that coming. Nothing if not loyal, Nico accepts the faux-posal, although close proximity to Bastien makes him more than a little… uncomfortable, and the increased scrutiny of government officials threatens to expose his illegal ability. Good thing this engagement is temporary, because being the king’s ex will be a lot less onerous than prison or exile. Or, if the attacks from a shadowy conspiracy continue, with being dead. King’s Ex is a 52,000-word M/M superhero rom-com featuring a fake engagement, class differences, improbably pristine clothing, dueling secrets, a guaranteed HEA, and a kitten.