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Judgement Dave

A tale of aPAWcalyptic proportions

by SI CLARKE

This time, the universe puts the cat in catastrophe.

Plucked from her home on Earth and ending up aboard a strange spaceship in an even stranger universe, Lem and the misfit crew of the Teapot have more than enough trouble on their hands… and then they receive an urgent last-minute call to save a race of cat-people from certain destruction.

Stuck with a disaster-platypus of a project manager and an entire race of people seemingly determined to thwart their own rescue, the Teapot’s crew face the impossible job of herding cats and helping evacuate the planet before it’s blown to smithereens.

Can Lem and the gang avert disaster and save this race of infuriating cat-people?

Perfect for fans of wacky and imaginative sci-fi stories, this satirical space opera is a ridiculous adventure that will delight readers of John Scalzi’s take on Fuzzy Nation or TJ Berry’s Space Unicorn Blues.

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Excerpt:

‘Good morning, good morning. As you know,’ Bob said. ‘I’m the prime minister of Dave.’ For the record, we did not – at that point – know any such thing. ‘I’m very pleased we’ve been able to provide you this opportunity. It’s a great honour.’

A great honour for whom … I wasn’t sure.

‘I’ll get right to the point.’ She pushed a glass of water off her sleek, glamorous desk. ‘As you know, my people sometimes find it … difficult to accept harsh truths. Comfortable alternative facts are often easier to accept in the face of so much loss.’

Instinctively, I bent down and picked up the glass from the floor. It had a lid, so the contents were still intact. I made to set it back on the desk, then thought better of it and set it on the floor next to the weird stool I was sitting on.

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Bob twisted around and lifted one of her feet to scratch her ear. ‘Moreover, until eight months ago, the government was led by an astronomy sceptic. The former prime minister mocked the scientists. As you know, she called their forecasts “judgements of ruin” and portrayed the researchers and academics as “doomsayers”. Most people on Dave thought the theories were fantastic fables designed to undermine the government. Many continue to believe that.’

COLLAPSE

Content Warnings

This work contains the following:

• Slavery, oppression, and genocide

• Ableism

Also, please note that trans women are women. Trans men are men. Non-binary people are who they tell you they are. This book is not for TERFs.

About the Author

SI CLARKE is a Canadian misanthrope who lives in Deptford, sarf ees London. She shares her home with her partner and an assortment of waifs and strays. When not writing convoluted, inefficient stories, she spends her time telling financial services firms to behave more efficiently. When not doing either of those things, she can be found in the pub or shouting at people online – occasionally practising efficiency by doing both at once.

As someone who’s neurodivergent, an immigrant, and the proud owner of an invisible disability, she strives to present a diverse array of characters in her stories.